The Onion: "Guy In Philosophy Class Needs to Shut The Fuck Up!"

I love Philosophy.

I love it enough not to utterly hate it. It however, remains in my mind one the most DIFFICULT discipline to master in. I love getting into engaging arguments and all, but I am never far from it completely baffling me. Here, The Onion, America's top satiric papaer takes on the know-it-all brats in Philosophy class:


Guy In Philosophy Class Needs To Shut The Fuck Up
September 28, 2005 | Issue 41•39

HANOVER, NH—According to students enrolled in professor Michael Rosenthal's Philosophy 101 course at Dartmouth College, that guy, Darrin Floen, the one who sits at the back of the class and acts like he's Aristotle, seriously needs to shut the fuck up.

His fellow students describe Floen's frequent comments as eager, interested, and incredibly annoying.

"He thinks he knows about philosophy," freshman Duane Herring said. "But I hate his voice, and I hate the way he only half raises his hand, like he's so laid back. We're discussing ethics in a couple weeks, but I don't know if I can wait that long before deciding if it's morally wrong to pound his face in."

"Today he was going on and on about how Plato's cave shadows themselves represent the ideal foundation of Western philosophical thought," said freshman Julia Wald moments after class let out Monday. "I have no idea what Plato's ideal reality is, but I bet it doesn't include know-it-all little shits."

Wald added: "If he uses the word 'dialectical' one more time, I'm going to shove my copy of The Republic down his throat."

Although he demonstrated a familiarity with Peter Singer's view on famine relief during a discussion of John Locke's theory of property, Floen is reportedly unfamiliar with the theory of cramming it for a change and giving someone else a chance to speak.

"Just last week Professor Rosenthal was talking about Russell's Paradox, and that jackass starts going off: 'But what about Heraclitus' aphorism: Everything flows, nothing stands still?'" classmate James Luers said. "At first I was like, 'That's totally irrelevant,' but then I was like, 'Well, actually, it does apply to the nonstop flapping of your trap.'"

Among the 40 students who regularly attend Philosophy 101, the one who has endured the most suffering is freshman William Deekes.

"Some people know Darrin as just 'that guy in philosophy class who needs to shut the hell up,'" Deekes said. "I, however, also know him as 'the douche in African history who seriously needs to chill' and 'the a-hole in environmental sciences who could really use a girlfriend.'"

"I enrolled in this course because I was fascinated by the question of God," said sophomore Miriam Blank. "After spending six hours a week in the same room as that unbearable windbag, I think I have my answer. Life is as long as it is cruel."

The outspoken student has not gone unremarked by the course's professor.

"Mr. Floen is a valuable contributor to our in-class discussions," Rosenthal said. "His tendency to question and challenge everything before him captures the very essence of philosophy itself."

Rosenthal added: "Having said that, I do wish he would occasionally do me the valued service of shutting his damn cake hole."

99th Street, Prelude To Our First Hundred

Folks,

Thanks so much for hanging with me all these while, as you can see SKOOKUM! is currently in its 99th page, and next week SKOOKUM! hits its first HUNDRED. Yes, It's 100. Well, I am definitely happy about it, and relieved too, that I am fianlly breaking the double-digit barrier and moving on the the 3-Digits arena. You'll get more of my contemplative rumblings next week.

This few weeks have not been the easiest weeks to pass, as not only did work got tougher, so did the competition. I mean it kinda sucked when some of your closest classmates are doing better than you are, and you're left wondering what did they do that you clearly didn't do... or what they didn't do, that apparently you did? I am lost to whether I am really stupider than some people in class, or is it just that they are capable of giving better answers in their assignments.

That's something problematic about school work that I cannot come to terms with, that is, does Passion for a subject mean anything at all? Passion for the subject means nothing at all, it seems.... I can feel so damn passionate about my assignment and in the end I didn'e score as well as the guy who clearly treats the assignment, as well, another plain assignment. They say in the absence of everything, passion will ensure that you will go on. How true is that??? I have seen truly passionate people at school doing not so well at all! How does the education system reward people with passion? Or does it in the end boils down to who can give the CORRECT answer, stripped of passion or love and purely mechanical and pretentious?

I don't know, after weeks after weeks of frustration and stress, I really don't know how to get out of this mental mess I got myself in....

Anyway, enough of my endless rant, it's that I am in a mood to let it all out on the computer screen. Do come back next week for more SKOOKUM!

Later!

How Do You Know If You Are In Middle Earth

The Lord of the Rings is more than just a movie and a book, it's an ICON of our time. All ye Balrogs out there hold your step!

Scrapped Princess

I used to be sceptical about watching Scrapped Princess, for I have this impression that it is probably about a whiny girl who has nothing better to do except getting herself tangled in love triangles and stupid situations that can be avoided even by a fool.

I was wrong the moment I watched the first episode. Well, yeah it is about this intensely whiny and spoilt girl, but more importantly it is about MAGIC. You see the protagonist, Pacifica Casoul is the Scrapped Princess, the one who will cast doom and poison to her world. It is later revealed that she is the only one who is able to resist the power and authority of the God Mauzel, who is also the One God in the Land. There are also other forces of Magic like the one possessed by Pacifica's foster sister Racquel, whose magic stems from the power of the God Browning, who lost the war against Mauzel and exists only as a magical entity.

It gets even more complicated from then on, where the audiences get introduced to Mauzel and her four angels known as Peacemakers. The central idea surrounding the anime is how justifiable is God in taking full control of the lives of Humans? Yes, this topic about free-agency had been dealt quite a lot of times; the message remains the same in the anime, but the presentation is refreshing and a pleasure to watch.

What I love most about the anime is the ending. It has one of the BEST endings in the entire anime world. It's not enigmatic like WOLF'S RAIN, too corny like HOUSHIN ENGI, too loaded like GASARAKI. It is a happy ending, and best thing of all, it attempts to answer all the questions it raises in the anime. The answering is not perfect, but it is a good and well-thought-through attempt.

I give this anime 9/10.

Harold Pinter Wins Nobel Prize for Literature 2005

This was announced last week, and i still cannot get over the shock that Harold Pinter of all writers and playwrights won the Nobel Prize for Literature!!! Not to say I don't like his writing, in fact I do. There is something sparse yet magical about his plays, not to mention that it can be awfully perverse and strange. He is famous for his "pauses". His play goes something like this:

Boy: You know what?

(pause)

Boy: Do you?

(pause)

Girl: I don't like butter.

(pause)

Boy: What about butter? I asked you if you knew what I am thinking.

(pause)

Girl: Butter.

(pause)

Boy: (pause) Yeah.

Though I am OVER-SIMPLIFYING the complexity of Pinter's plays, this is essentially the shape of his plays. As you can see it is highly stylized and it looks like no other play in the world. In fact, I dare say his style is so unique that it is almost recognizable everywhere.

The thing is, It is just that there are so many authors who deserve to be honored with the Nobel prize for Literature, and I am not sure if Pinter got the prize because he is like, one of the last remaining great playwrights alive. Maybe I am reading too much into this but, when I compare J.M Coetzee, winner of the Nobel Prize for Literature in 2003 and good ol'Pinter... the discrepency is just huge.

Not to mention that people will start buying really costly editions of his plays now....

Official Enya Album Cover

The above is the Official Album cover for Enya's latest album Amarantine as released by Barnes & Noble. For those who have been keeping track of Enya's discography will instantly tell that this is probably Enya's most stripped-down, unusual and well, plain cover.

Yes, at first I didn't really like the cover, it looks too well, UN-ENYA to me. Then, I read the members' postings in UNITY (Official Forum on Enya) and I realize that well, if Enya is trying to do something entirely new this time round, something that she has not done before, I can say she succeeded very well indeed. I mean, she looks like some Goth Chick, with blood red skirts and black hair and a funky necklace. She is moving from New Age Priestess to New Age Goth-Punk Godess. So it can't be a bad thing.

Though.... I would REALL prefer something MORE New Age like in nature... then again, like the other forum members, I respect Enya's decision and taste!

98th Street (Every Webcomic Artist's Dream Studio)

The above picture is by Stacy Michalcewicz, portraying how a webcomic artist's studio SHOULD look like. And I am in agreement with her. You see, unlike traditional manga artists, all they need is a ton of Screen paper, ink bottles and G-Pens. Every aspect of a webcomic artist's life has a direct co-relation to something electronic.

I am still doing the old way of first inking than scanning it into the computer. For the more professional webcomic artists, all they do is to sketch on paper and ink the entire page on the Wacom, and then color it. The results are far better, and somehow they get better loved by readers... well that's not always the case. Megatokyo INSISTS on using the age-old pencil and shading techinique, and somehow, there is something charming (not spectacular) about his work that appeals to his readers. That however, doesn't mean he is free from the enclacves of technology. Take away his Powermac G4, and you pretty much taken away his life's work - that's how it is with webcomic artists.

The one thing I truly like about Michalcewicz's work is the attempts she makes to put such a futuristic and positive light to the life of a webcomic/ Digital illustrator. Why shouldn't she? Sure these guys does things for FREE, but I mean after all, these people are attempting to use the Internet as an entirely new medium to purport a new way to read comics altogether. I cannot believe however, that there are some people I know who still see webcomics like something that HAS necessarily to do with sex, porn and hentai. We are moving on! That is not to say however that webcomics hate comic books or manga books - as I said before, most webcomics see the comic book as the final stage of its evolution, that it is something it would have to be one day, either at conventions or stores, if it truly wants to be recognized by the mainstream readers.

However, what cannot be denied is a certain versatility, a certain twisted wickedness that is able to be put across in a webcomic that somehow gets lost when put in print. Of course, in the World of the Web, everything is possible, the only limits you place on yourself is the limit of your imagination and a certain government who'll be glad to chew on your butt if you get too radical and leftist.

97th Street (Enya's NEW Album - Amarantine)

Thanks to w'Note's help SKOOKUM! is back on schedule again; though it is no longer the two updates a week schedule, like we had before, it is really something to get like one fully colored page a week. In this week, like most readers of SKOOKUM! had kinda foresaw, the friction between Junko and Yoruki intensifies, and yes, you can be sure that neither party are holding back their bitterness and anger.

In happier news, my idol Enya is FINALLY releasing her 7th album - AMARANTINE. What you see is the exclusive cover of the album which is scheduled for release this November. It takes Enya 4 - 5 years to produce ONE album, most fans would have lost interest, but not Enya fans. We love her precisely because she takes so much care and love to produce each and every album. To hear the release of a new album from her is like a red letter day for all of us. The wait is ALWAYS worth it. And by the looks of the cover and the Persian inspired name, I believe I can expect a very different Enya this time round.

The letter you see is a letter from Roma Ryan, the lady responsible for writing most of the lyrics to Enya's songs, she KNOWS all of Enya's fans are waiting for this special moment, and she is especially nice to post a very special handwritten letter to all of us. I cannot express how happy I am to hear this news, for it has been a full year or so since I heard anything new from Enya; the last being her Japanese song "Sumiregusa". This is news indeed. I wish I could do something special on the SKOOKUM! site, to make it Fall themed (like Enya's album cover) to celebrate the release of her album. Or do a special art piece or something.... But I have a couple of killler papers I NEED to complete, which erases any possibility of me doing anything special....

The least I can do is this: ENYA RULES!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOH!

Have a good one everyone, and BUY her album!

96th Street (The w'Note Exclusive)

For the first time in 3 weeks I made it for an update! This would not be at all possible without the help of my pal w'Note, who has decided to take over the coloring of SKOOKUM! till late November. With the help of w'Note, all ye readers out there can expect more timely updates - a good timing too, for we are expecting yet another conflict to arise.

To many a fight between Junko, Machiko and Yoruki is impossible... well till now, as I mentioned earlier, there is nothing more fragile than the fragility of goodness. It takes just a little prick, and all hell breaks loose. The same thing is about to happen to these three persons. I know I am giving away far too much here, but I thought it will be nice to let you guys into the increasingly complex world of SKOOKUM! Anyway, I am not giving everything away, if you know SKOOKUM! well enough something unexpected is bound to happen, and I am keeping mum on this one.

By the by, I received a call from my friend last week who told me that he had recommended SKOOKUM! to his girl. He told me that at first she was amazed and interested, all till she saw Joan and her gargantuan boobs. She told my friend that Joan is the most horrible character she had ever seen and it somehow affected her liking for SKOOKUM! I was not upset that she finds SKOOKUM! sick or anything, I was actually happy.

You see, it is better for me to receive a REACTION, yes, a reaction from people rather than to have no reaction at all. The whole point of an artistic work is to affect people, and get their reaction. The problem is Joan is SO POPULAR with the other readers.... so I guess you can't please everyone. But I am glad tht my friend's girlfriend did enjoy the first few pages of SKOOKUM! That for me, is enough.

Later guys!